Conflict – we all
experience it no matter how hard we try to avoid it. You may be a peaceful, calm person normally
but all it takes is someone to come into our office and throw a new project on your
desk and let you know you have one-week to put together a presentation. This may not bother some people but to make
things more tense, you have to work with someone who’s work style is completely
opposite of you. If you are still not
worried about it, congratulations, you know how to master conflict and I
applaud you!
Now, for those of you
who just the THOUGHT of this happening to you causes a great deal of stress, take
a moment to breathe. We have some tips
for you to work through conflict more effectively and avoid those ineffective
behaviors that seem to seep out when you are faced with it.
First, let’s go
over the general responses of each style.
Dominance: First response in conflict is going to be
demanding. The goal of a D style is
victory – they fear loss of control or being taken advantage of. As conflict increases they go from assertive
to demanding. Some adverse behaviors
that are reflected by a D style in conflict are:
- Becoming aggressive and autocratic
- Creating a win/lose outcome
- Refusing to bend
- Overpowering with force
influence: Focusing less on logic like the D styles
tend to do, i’s want acknowledgement and when this is in jeopardy, they are
about emotions. The feelings may not
come out in the most professional way and can vary from pouting, exaggerating,
or personal attacking. Adverse behaviors
exhibited by i styles are:
- Wanting to be heard
- Glossing over tension initially
- Verbalizing feelings impulsively
- Personal attacking
Steadiness: While D’s goal is victory and i’s work
towards acknowledgement, S’s want harmony and when is this in risk, they tend
to become quiet. Now this may look to
others as they are complying or giving in but in reality, they are processing
what is being said and the info is simmering.
Eventually the frustration and anxiety boils over. Behaviors that are a response to conflict for
S’s are:
- Avoiding aggression
- Trying to save relationships
- Accommodating or giving in
- Simmering beneath the surface
Conscientiousness: The C style tends to withdraw in conflict
even though their goal is justice. They
fear they will make a mistake and become defensive with they may be wrong. C’s never stop strategizing for how they
think they are correct. Opposite of a D
style, they tend be autocratic first then aggressive. Some key behaviors as a response to conflict
that you will see are:
- Becoming defensive
- Strategizing in controlled fashion
- Resisting passive-aggressively
- Overpowering with logic and facts
So now that we now
how each style tends to react to conflict how do we cope with our own style or
help others in the face of conflict. Each
person must determine how to best handle their ineffective behaviors and learn
a more positive approach. Below you will
find some suggestions on how you or someone you may know can better approach a
conflict with other styles.
Dominance
- Approach the situation thinking about
it from a different way
- Do not “corner” them and make them feel
uncomfortable
- Find workable answers quickly but don’t
allow them to push the pace
influence
- Effectively communicate through
listening
- Ask open ended questions that allow
them to communicate
- Collaborate
Steadiness
- Ask more indirect questions to reduce
sense of conflict
- Establish a decision-making timeline
for a thought out but efficient timeline
- Let them voice what they are feeling
sooner rather than later
Conscientiousness
- Allow time to process other points of
view
- Use rationale for arguments and not
feelings
- Refrain from taking skepticism
personally
These are just a
few suggestions on how to address conflict with others. Do you have a different approach that works
well for you? Feel free to share it with us by sending us an email or
commenting below.
For a more
personalized approach to handle different styles, complete an Everything
DiSC Workplace Assessment to learn how to create a more effective working
environment!
